查看完整版本: 天堂的钥匙

天堂的钥匙

1.一教堂....新来了一个年轻修女...... 神父对她说:晚上你来偶房间...偶身上有一把
天堂的钥匙..... 让你的钥匙孔来试试..... 年轻的修女不懂.....于是跑去问老修
女..... 年轻的修女问:神父说他身上有一把天堂的钥匙是真的还是假的? 老修女一
听.... 气急败坏的说:什么..那是天堂的钥匙.神父居然骗偶说"那是天堂的喇叭" 害
偶吹了20年都还没能上天堂....
评论：喇叭没有钥匙好用，钥匙肯定会打开天堂之门的

2.一天, 一 pub 中有一牛仔正向一美女搭讪
美女: 哇!! 好大的帽子喔!!
牛仔: yes! 因为我住德州. 并点了一跟雪茄.
美女: 哇!! 好大的雪茄喔!!
牛仔: yes! 因为我住德州. 又叫了一杯啤酒.
美女: 哇!! 好大的一杯啤酒喔!!
牛仔: yes! 因为我住德州.
此时,牛仔见时机成熟,就单刀直入,
美女亦不反对,就要去翻云覆雨
牛仔脱了裤子
美女: 哇!! 好大的一根......(我想大家都明白吧!!)
牛仔: yes! 因为我住德州.
经过一番........後,
牛仔突然停了下来 有点不满足地说 " 你住德州哪?? "
评论：德州的什么都大，女的也是德州的，所以下面也大

3.某日, 一樵夫在深山中偶遇一苦行僧, 便与其闲聊起来...
樵夫: " 不知大师在此清修多少时日了? "
僧人: " 约有三十个年头了.."
樵夫: " 大师清修如此, 不知一个月仍会动情几次? "
僧人: " 贫僧功力尚浅, 一个月仍会动情三次.."
樵夫: " 大师果然已非凡人, 在下佩服佩服!!"
僧人: " 那里那里!!一次十天而已.."
评论：天天都在动情

4.一对男女在舞会中相遇,舞会散後,男人送女人回去後想跟她燕好,
可是女人并不愿意,就对男人说:「听着,想和我在一起的男人须具
有两个条件...一个是至少二十尺长的卡迪拉克轿车和最少十二寸
长的XX。」那男人点头表示将来一定会办到,再来找她。
一个月後...
男人约出那个女人,得意的指着一旁的新轿车,并在女人的耳边低声
道:「至於另一个条件,我问过医生了,他说可以『缩小』到你所要
求的长度。」
评论：现在高科技，能大能小

5.一名男子嫖妓犯奸,被官吏重责七十大板,打得屁
股鲜血淋漓。晚上,昏昏睡去,突然梦见自己的宝
贝与臀部在相见。臀部骂那话儿:「舒服的是你,
闯祸的也是你,为什麽们楣受挨打的是我?万一死了
,一定抓你去见阎王,请他评评理。」
那话儿辩道:「这是什麽话?我只不过在她门前望望,
是你在後头猛力一撞,把我给撞进去的,当然是该你
受罚罗!」
评论：屁股也是功不可没啊

6.一养鸡场的种公鸡有些老了，场主决定买一只新公鸡配种。
年轻的公鸡买来了，趾高气扬地与老种鸡见了面。
老公鸡说：“我知道你瞧不起我。记着，谁都有年轻的时候。
今天咱俩来个赛跑怎么样？如果你嬴了，看见没有？”，老
公鸡指指院子里的小母鸡们，“全是你的了”。
小公鸡胸有成竹，问：“怎么跑？”老公鸡说：“围房子跑
20圈，谁先跑完谁嬴。”
开跑后仅两三圈，小公鸡已领先半圈。至第8圈，小公鸡仅差
两米就超老公鸡一圈了。这当口老公鸡一声惨叫，屋内的场主
以为来了黄鼠狼，提着猎枪冲出屋来，只见新买的小公鸡紧追
老公鸡不放。场主怒火中烧，举起枪一枪便结果了小公鸡。
场主气哼哼地往屋里走，自语道：“真他妈倒霉，怎么买的公鸡
都是同性恋？打死四只了！”
评论：老奸巨猾啊

7.年青小伙子为新交的女友买一件生日礼物。他们交往时间不长，所以小伙子经仔细考
虑，认为送一副手套最恰当不过——浪漫，又不显得过分亲昵。
在女友的妹妹陪同下，他去西尔斯百货连锁店买了一副白色的小羊皮手套。女友的妹
妹也给自己买了一条内裤。售货员包装时把两件物品弄混了，结果女友的妹妹拿了手
套，给女友的变成了内裤。
小伙子没有检查包装的内容，封好后寄给了女友，并附上一便条：
亲爱的：
我选了这件礼物，因为据我留心观察。你晚上和我出门时总是不用它。要不是你妹妹
当时在的话，我本来会选有扣子的那种。可是她用的是短的，容易脱下来的那种。它
的色调非常浅，不过卖它的女士让我看她用的同样东西，已经三个星期了，一点都不
脏。我让她试了试你的，她看上去靓极了。
多希望你第一次上身时我能看到啊。可惜不行，因为在我下次见你之前，肯定会有别
人碰它的。
记住在脱它之后，往里面吹点气。因为它们用用自己就会带点潮的。想一想，来年我
要亲它多少次啊！希望在星期五晚上你用它，为了我。
全身心地爱你的约翰，
哦，对了
现在最时兴的作法是把边翻过来，露出一点软毛。
评论：露出一点毛才流行
各位大哥大姐喜欢的话，红心支持一下。多谢了！

最后一个笑话是精华啊，其他的都看过好几遍了

实话实说，都还中规中矩，不过发帖辛苦了。

同意楼上的观点，其他的几则确实是比较常见的

都是比较经典的笑话，以前看过前面两个，很搞笑。

有的很普通不过辛苦楼主找来这么多公大家开心 很不容易 不能伤兄弟的心还是 红心支持吧

我也喜欢最后一个，配合的很巧妙，如果是真实的场景，估计他俩得分了。

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