7326529 2011-7-26 21:41
7月爆笑笑话
1.洗衣机
一女的报案:“我把钱放在胸衣内,在拥挤的地铁内被一帅哥偷走了…”pol.ice纳闷:“这么敏感的地方你就没觉察到?”该女的红着脸答:“谁能想到他是摸钱呢?
评论:好色是要付出代价的,你以为帅哥是摸你胸呢,他是在想着你的钱.他有钱了,什么胸摸不到.
2.打偏了
神父打高尔夫球,修女观看,第一杆打偏了,神父骂道:“TMD,打偏了!”又打,神父又骂:“TMD,又打偏了!”修女说:“你做为神父说脏话上帝要惩罚的。”话音刚落,一个霹雷把修女给劈死了。神父纳闷了:为什么骂人的是我,为什么会劈死修女呢?这时只听天空传来上帝的声音:“TMD,我也打偏了!”
评论:倒霉的修女,上帝是把雷当高尔夫打的吗,打雷也会打偏.太没水平了.
3.爱不爱我
一天,我弟弟去师大附属小学打篮球,听到操场边一低年级女生问一个低年级男生:“你到底爱不爱我???”那男生无奈道:“我妈一天给我3元钱,其中两块五都让你拿去买零食了,你说我爱不爱你!!!”
评论:真痴情的小男孩,还没结婚就把工资交给小女孩管了.
4.遗产
老人临终前分遗产。对大儿子说:“你媳妇快生小孩了,把存折留给你。”对二儿子说:“你马上就要结婚,我把房子留给你”。最后,对小儿子说:“最不放心你了,现在还没个女朋友,就把最宝贵的遗产留给你吧。”小儿子心中窃喜,老人说:“我的QQ号好友栏里有300多个年轻姑娘,号码是******。”
评论:多好的父亲啊,为每个儿子都想得这么周道,特别是对小儿子,把他最宝贵的都留给他了.
5.考试
儿子战战兢兢地回到家:“爸,今天考试只得了60分”。爸爸很生气:“下次再考低了,就别叫我爸!” 第二天儿子回来了:“对不起,哥!”
评论:害人的应试教育啊,竟然把父子俩弄成了兄弟俩.
6.谁的内裤
局长刚进办公室,办公室主任的老婆闯了进来,挥着一条女式三角裤对局长说:“我老公晚上回家竟然穿了女人的内裤,您一定要管管”。局长连连点头是是,顺手把三角裤塞进口袋里。晚上回家,局长老婆洗衣服时发现了局长口袋里的三角裤,对局长说:“以后不许开这样玩笑了,害的人家找了一整天”。
评论:是应该好好管管了自己的老婆了.内裤都给弄丢了,还是局长帮忙找回的.
7.昆字怎么写
有一次去酒店下榻,夜里正在迷糊的我,突然听到有人敲门问话。女:有人吗? 我:有什么事吗?女:我想问下帅哥,昆明的昆怎么写啊?我:哦,上面一个日,下面一个比.....(汗)! 女:那么我们昆一下好吗? 我晕倒。
评论:小姐不可怕,就怕小姐有文化。
8.最重要的事
一人早上醒来,发现妻子死在床上。他赶紧跳起来,脸色苍白、跌跌撞撞地奔下楼梯大声喊道:“阿梅!阿梅!” 女佣回答:“先生!什么事?” “早餐的鸡蛋煮一个就够了!”
评论:这么扣门的老公,早死的好,省得以后被他气死.
9.草莓味
两头牛在一起吃草,青牛问黑牛:“喂!你的草是什么味道?”黑牛道:“草莓味!”青牛靠过来吃了一口,愤怒地喊到“你骗我!”黑牛轻蔑地看了它一眼,回道:“笨蛋,我说草没味。”
评论:这不是坑爹吗?我还以为真有草莓味的草.
10.还钱
一个人正在与他的一个朋友在商店里购物,突然,有两个强盗闯进来抢劫,当强盗开始挨个搜查顾客的腰包时,这个人突然觉得他的朋友在轻轻地捅他并悄声说:“拿着这个。” “别给我手枪,我可不想当英雄。 ” 朋友:“快拿着吧,这是我欠你的二十五元钱。
评论:这哥们头脑真好使,还钱还得还真是时候.
weihairen135 2011-7-26 23:34
上帝也有说脏话的时候啊
第七个再聪明的人也有上当的时候
i930161325 2011-9-3 03:17
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