查看完整版本: 7月爆笑笑话

7月爆笑笑话

1.洗衣机

一女的报案：“我把钱放在胸衣内，在拥挤的地铁内被一帅哥偷走了…”pol.ice纳闷：“这么敏感的地方你就没觉察到？”该女的红着脸答：“谁能想到他是摸钱呢？

评论:好色是要付出代价的,你以为帅哥是摸你胸呢,他是在想着你的钱.他有钱了,什么胸摸不到.

2.打偏了

神父打高尔夫球，修女观看，第一杆打偏了，神父骂道：“TMD，打偏了！”又打，神父又骂：“TMD，又打偏了！”修女说：“你做为神父说脏话上帝要惩罚的。”话音刚落，一个霹雷把修女给劈死了。神父纳闷了：为什么骂人的是我，为什么会劈死修女呢？这时只听天空传来上帝的声音：“TMD，我也打偏了！”

评论:倒霉的修女,上帝是把雷当高尔夫打的吗,打雷也会打偏.太没水平了.

3.爱不爱我

一天，我弟弟去师大附属小学打篮球，听到操场边一低年级女生问一个低年级男生：“你到底爱不爱我？？？”那男生无奈道：“我妈一天给我3元钱，其中两块五都让你拿去买零食了，你说我爱不爱你！！！”

评论:真痴情的小男孩,还没结婚就把工资交给小女孩管了.

4.遗产

　老人临终前分遗产。对大儿子说：“你媳妇快生小孩了，把存折留给你。”对二儿子说：“你马上就要结婚，我把房子留给你”。最后，对小儿子说：“最不放心你了，现在还没个女朋友，就把最宝贵的遗产留给你吧。”小儿子心中窃喜，老人说：“我的QQ号好友栏里有300多个年轻姑娘，号码是＊＊＊＊＊＊。”

评论:多好的父亲啊,为每个儿子都想得这么周道,特别是对小儿子,把他最宝贵的都留给他了.

5.考试

儿子战战兢兢地回到家：“爸，今天考试只得了60分”。爸爸很生气：“下次再考低了，就别叫我爸！” 第二天儿子回来了：“对不起，哥！”

评论:害人的应试教育啊,竟然把父子俩弄成了兄弟俩.

6.谁的内裤

局长刚进办公室，办公室主任的老婆闯了进来，挥着一条女式三角裤对局长说：“我老公晚上回家竟然穿了女人的内裤，您一定要管管”。局长连连点头是是，顺手把三角裤塞进口袋里。晚上回家，局长老婆洗衣服时发现了局长口袋里的三角裤，对局长说：“以后不许开这样玩笑了，害的人家找了一整天”。

评论:是应该好好管管了自己的老婆了.内裤都给弄丢了,还是局长帮忙找回的.

7.昆字怎么写

有一次去酒店下榻，夜里正在迷糊的我，突然听到有人敲门问话。女：有人吗？ 我：有什么事吗？女：我想问下帅哥，昆明的昆怎么写啊？我：哦，上面一个日，下面一个比．．．．．（汗）! 女：那么我们昆一下好吗？ 我晕倒。

评论:小姐不可怕，就怕小姐有文化。

8.最重要的事

一人早上醒来，发现妻子死在床上。他赶紧跳起来，脸色苍白、跌跌撞撞地奔下楼梯大声喊道：“阿梅！阿梅！”　　女佣回答：“先生！什么事？”　　“早餐的鸡蛋煮一个就够了！”

评论:这么扣门的老公,早死的好,省得以后被他气死.

9.草莓味

两头牛在一起吃草，青牛问黑牛：“喂！你的草是什么味道？”黑牛道：“草莓味！”青牛靠过来吃了一口，愤怒地喊到“你骗我！”黑牛轻蔑地看了它一眼，回道：“笨蛋，我说草没味。”

评论:这不是坑爹吗?我还以为真有草莓味的草.

10.还钱

一个人正在与他的一个朋友在商店里购物，突然，有两个强盗闯进来抢劫，当强盗开始挨个搜查顾客的腰包时，这个人突然觉得他的朋友在轻轻地捅他并悄声说：“拿着这个。” “别给我手枪，我可不想当英雄。 ” 朋友：“快拿着吧，这是我欠你的二十五元钱。

评论:这哥们头脑真好使,还钱还得还真是时候.

上帝也有说脏话的时候啊
第七个再聪明的人也有上当的时候

好像部分之前看过了，还算不错，继续努力

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