查看完整版本: 7月31日笑话10则2

7月31日笑话10则2

1、食堂是呼吸的痛，它活在学校每个角落，抢个坐位会痛，排队打饭会痛，连吃饭也痛，打菜是会呼吸的痛，它在人群中来回滚动，打个荤菜痛，打个素菜痛，想吃没钱最痛。

评论：我顶，干啥没钱也是最痛！

2、英国一作家出了一本书，叫《性之外男人想什么》。全书两百来页，除了书皮，全是空白。此书至出版后持续热销，英国大学几乎一人一本。

评论：所以说性无能的男人脑子是空的。

3、一男纸吃完忘带钱，吃完饭把帐单往收音台一放，转身就走，收音员拿起帐单大喊：先生，你的帐单！男纸回眸报以温柔的一笑：是你的账单。

评论：学广告学的好老板也得揍你！

4、朋友问：小时候的梦想实现了吗？。答：恩，现在总算实现了一半了，朋友问：肿么？以前的梦想是当pol.ice叔叔，朋友：那怎么叫实现了一半？答：现在是叔叔了

评论：过二十年连一半都实现不了，成爷爷了。

5、猎人抗着枪打兔子，突然跳出一头黑熊，猎人还来不及开枪就被扑到了，过了半小时黑熊还是扑在猎人身上，猎人就纳闷了：这是肿么回事？忽然他看到黑熊脖子上有张布条，上面写着：抱抱熊。

评论：早知如此就抱抱回家，费那子弹干啥。

6、有对情侣，女纸可怜巴巴的问：为神马，我们不能住贵一点的房子，男纸说：我们马上就可以住贵一点的房子了，房东说明天给我们涨房租。

评论：有这样苦中作乐的男友，幸福指数一定高。

7、大爷去看病，医生：您哪儿不舒服啊？岁数大了常失眠吧？ 大爷：没有啊！我每天睡得跟死狗似的，谁也叫不醒。 医生：那您就是排便有困难？ 大爷：没有啊！我每天早晨6点半，准拉一回。 医生：那您没什么毛病啊？ 大爷：毛病就在这儿呢！我每天早晨6点半准拉一回，可我7点半才醒……

评论：当两个不是毛病的事物产生矛盾就是大毛病。

8、女性朋友和女朋友的区别：女性朋友骂你的时候会叫你吃屎；女朋友骂你的时候会叫你吃屎屎。多一个字，其实是多一份关怀；怕你不够吃。

评论：成为女朋友之前都是很矜持的。

9、两只老虎，两只老虎，谈恋爱，谈恋爱。两只都是公的，两只都是公的，真变态，真变态。。。。

评论：现在是基世纪的基世界，欢迎你来！

10、小理想：有所房子，面朝大海，春暖花开，4M宽带，能叫外卖，快递直达，不还房贷。

评论：海景房还是全款，这叫小理想？这是白日梦！

喜欢就红心一下，就在下面，谢谢！

*** 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽 ***

现在的社会有所房子就不错了，还要海景呀，别太天真了。

1.现在的大学生真是闲的蛋疼，谁痛谁知道
2.色即是空，空既是色  可见男人满脑子都是性才算是真男人，要不然sis兄弟也不会在此相聚嘛
3.随后服务员曰 你小子敢吃霸王餐啊，就算你爸爸是李刚，老子还是李刚他妈呢
4.看来大多数人都愿望都实现了一半，我小时候想当科学家，现在以成家，就差科学了
5.看清敌人真面目前一定要先蛋定，要不然自己会把自己吓得半死
6.嗯，这个男银说话有水平，租房子过的日子小弟深有体会啊
7.很正常啦，人到一定年纪就会或多或少有些疾病，什么老年痴呆症更是常见
8.可以对女性朋友说吃鸡吧，对女朋友说吃鸡鸡吧，也是怕你吃不够
9.哎呀，人家只是性取向不同嘛，干嘛要歧视同性恋呢
10.这还是小理想，那我的小小理想就算中大奖，最好中铁道部的那个超级大奖

第2个，看来男人果然是靠下半身思考的
第10个，这种理想我也想啊

1、食堂好像也不一定那么多人吧？
2、那是因为想让你们自己填，也许吧……
3、这是否成功跟男的的长相、收银员性别及性取向有关。
4、再过二十年是肯德基爷爷。
5、我还是不明白为啥是半小时之后？
6、没办法，地主家也没有余粮呀……
7、那你就在马桶上睡吧……要不把床改造一下？
8、好像不只有这一点不同吧？而且也因人而异吧？
9、同性恋只是不符合大众的性取向罢了，不算变态吧？
10、海边的房子好像没有城市的贵吧？

感觉不怎么好笑。。。估计是看多了:wad37

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性无能的男人脑子是空的。。。我去。太损了。。话说还是允许他们YY的吧

唉第十个笑话那个人怎么那么异想天开啊可能吗那